Depression came up and bit me in the ass. I cried over everything starting Saturday.
Husband and I yelling back and forth about directions to houses, and i just start crying like a little 2 year old girl. I dried it up & we proceeded to go to the Races that night, where we had a blast watching cars go around in a huge circle, drinking beer and food that will probably kill us. Went back to the friends house that we stayed with and didn't end up heading to bed till about 12;00 then 12;15 my son wakes up screaming bloody murder as if something or someone is hurting him. this lasted oh i don't know maybe 1 hour before i couldn't deal with it any more so i demanded we take him to the hospital. found out he had super gas, he wouldn't stretch out. we got him cured, got back to the house at 4;30. We slept until 7. then we had breakfast and all, and i was so tired i just wanted to go home. after breakfast i just started crying again (fuck you depression) because i am totally stressed about this stupid move. yes, it's stupid and i'm being an asshole this move is the best opportunity for all of us, i'm not ready to see that yet because i want things to happen NOW.
Anyhow, when we left houston, the baby monster and i slept most of the 3 hour trip back. I couldn't keep awake i made sure hubby got out of the traffic and then i zonked.
I don't know how many other people in this world have depression or Bi-Polar disorder.
I've taken medicines, but the problem is they are obviously too strong i zonk when i take them, i have no reaction to anything, husband says i don't have any facial expressions just a blank zombie. I eat, and eat and eat, oh and sleep when i take my medicine. plus it makes me irritated at the slightest things.
You guys, This is serious. Some people can't help it. I'm one of them i'll go on fine for days, weeks or maybe months and then BAM that Sneaky Little Bastard pops in and fucks everything up.
I can't stand the thought of being away from my husband. The friends have offered for our family to stay with their family, that's a wonderful offer. but i just don't feel comfortable with the whole 2 families under 1 roof. Husband and i have done that before and it usually ruins relationships or friendships. So i suppose i'll decline.
This morning my mother called to talk about her and my oldest monster being in Gulfport Mississippi. I wasn't in the mood. So my mom wanted to ask questions about the move, and i just declined being rude and told her "Okay mom, i love you i'll talk to you later bye" and she said that was rude, so then I raised my voice. I have explained to her over 1,000 times about the situation. She just isn't comprehending. So now i feel like an asshole. DAMNIT.
Okay i guess i am done wasting everyones time. i'm going to cuddle my leopard Blanket. :)
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